Glimpses Through The Rain - Chapter 13
CHAPTER 13
Breakfast in bed, a quick warm shower, an easy change of clothes, putting make up on her face, Lei got accustomed to having them as part of her morning routine throughout their seven-day stay at Rosy’s place. But this morning, Lei didn’t feel like putting her make up on. She didn’t wish to leave the room at all. She thought maybe they could escape today and just go back the following day then simply move on with their lives. How she wished today didn’t have to come. She sat on a chair beside the coffee table, her face towards her left as she stared outside through the window panes, she caressed her tummy. She was sweating from the earlier images.
“I’m feeling guilty, doctor Thompson.”
“No, just call me by my nickname, Des.”
“I’m feeling guilty, Des.”
“You are feeling guilty about what, dear?”
“This is my baby but I am agreeing to its death. That’s what I am feeling guilty about.”
“You think you’re killing your baby?”
“Yes, I think so.”
“Why?”
“Because...because babies are supposed to be allowed to live, you know. They’re angels. They’re supposed to enjoy this world we’re living in and, and...” She didn’t get to finish her statement because she went on sobbing as she hid her face at Mitch’s chest.
“What if you did not consent to the surgery, Lei? Do you think the child will have a chance to live, anyway?”
Silence filled the room. She got tongue-tied. Mitch butted in, “Des, do you think what we are doing is the right thing?”
“You tell me. Why wouldn’t it be?”
“I just feel like we’re bad parents for this baby. What if after the surgery, our consciences will haunt us through eternity? That’ll be terrible.” Mitch caressed Lei’s stomach.
“Mitch, Lei, I want you to think about my question. If you do not agree to the surgery, will everything be alright for everybody, then? Given the fact that the baby was in the fallopian tube instead of in the uterus, and putting into consideration the risks that Lei was supposed to face had she went on with this pregnancy. Think about this, today until tomorrow.”
“Lei? Hon? Dear, come back.” Lei was still looking outside through the window panes, obviously staring blankly at nothing when Mitch saw her. He just got dressed and noticed that Lei wasn’t responding to what he was talking about while he was brushing his hair in front of the mirror.
“Ha?”
“I lost you there. I’m not going to ask if you’re all set or ready, sweetheart. I am neither ready myself, but...are you done here? Can we go now?” Mitch pointed his right index finger towards his wrist watch at his left. Thessa and brought his watch to him late last night along with a few more clothes which should last them through their seven days of stay at Rosy’s condo.
“Oh...let me just put some make up on...then we’ll be all set to go, hon.” She wiped her eyes with her palms as if to erase those thoughts from her mind and stood up to move towards the dresser.
Mitch felt a clutch in his chest as he watched Lei motioned towards the dresser. If only there was a way for him to spare her wife of all those miseries, he would definitely take that option. He too, transported himself to last week’s sessions.
“Mitch, how are you and Lei, lately?” this came from Doctor Thompson, Des as the couple called her.
“We’re always in pain, Des. It’s like we made a choice out of no choice at all. I don’t want to lose our baby but I definitely do not want my wife’s life to be in danger.”
“How are you feeling about the surgery? During our first meeting, I left that question for both of you to answer. Yesterday, you did an activity together which was also connected to that same question. Are we having any progress at this time?”
“Yes. We really couldn’t push through with this pregnancy, doc. It’ll be selfish of us to do that, ironically speaking...unfair to both our baby and my wife.” Lei held onto Mitch’s hands tighter, feeling the pain that her husband was trying to evade. “We’ve understood that if we went on with this pregnancy, we’re just going to prolong the baby’s agony as well as Lei’s, that’ll make us even ruthless being its parents. Betty already advised us that a classical ectopic pregnancy does not develop into a live birth and this pregnancy puts Lei’s life in danger.”
“Lei, is that how you are feeling too?”
“This is very painful for both of us, Des. I don’t want you to think that we wanted to end the baby’s life. We’d like to keep the baby as much as possible. We just want to have a happy and simple family life. God, how we prayed each night to ask for strength, for wisdom...for us to see clearly through this incident and to remain sane as we struggle between our will and emotions. And seeing you, talking to you, have slowly helped us understand the picture of it all. It’s not meant to be...at least for now, perhaps.” Tears started rolling down her face, but she was calm this time, unlike the previous days. “I’m positive, there’s still going to be a next time for us to become parents. I’m sure, God is not turning His face away from us because of this decision.”
“So, you don’t feel guilty anymore, I take it?”
“Yes, we’re ok now. We’ve come into terms of accepting the reality. Lei and I don’t have to feel guilty by this decision.”
“How are you as a couple, lately?”
No answer there. Both Mitch and Lei’s brows formed a ‘vee’ shape as they stared at each other. Then they moved their faces towards her way, shrugging their shoulders. Des realized the couple may be with each other every day at Rosy’s place but neither one has taken the time to really ‘see’ the other person as a lover.
“I understand. Tomorrow, being our last therapy session, I’d like to skip the routine for a change. Discard the list which my secretary gave you during her one-hour briefing with you about our therapy sessions. Tomorrow will be different but great for everybody.”
“I’m ready, dear.”
“Oh, ok. Let’s go then.” Mitch’s thoughts rocketed to the present and released a big, hard sigh. Lei was all set, indeed. She put make up on her face and did her hair. She also released a hard sigh and managed to look composed as she held onto Mitch’s right elbow.
Before they closed the door on their way out, Lei hugged Mitch. She hugged him so tightly and warmly. She hugged him as if she has never done so for the longest time. While in his arms, Lei recalled the last session they had with Des.
“It’s been one hour and Des isn’t here yet. She always comes on time.” Lei was beginning to worry about their doctor. “Do you think she has cancelled this session the last minute?”
“No, I don’t think so. If she did, her secretary should have informed us already.”
“But, why isn’t she here yet? Maybe something wrong happened?” She curiously looked at the wall clock then browsed through Des’ bookshelf.
“Neither that one. Let’s just stay here for awhile and wait for her, ok? Come here, honey. Sit beside me.”
Lei went to where he was sitting as though she was an eight-year-old girl being given an order. She sat beside him. He then slid his arms around her.
“Mitch, what are you doing?”
“Nothing.” He held her head close to his chest.
“Mitch?”
“Ssshhh. I just want to feel you here with me, sweetheart. I missed you.”
She felt so much comfort being in Mitch’s arms. Being with him at that very moment was the very thing she needed. He was with her since the start. He never left her side. His love never wavered even with this recent gruesome incident in their family life. She realized he had been constantly generous and giving to her throughout this whole ordeal. He took a month-leave from work just to be able to take care of her every day. Mart and Alex visited them often there at Rosy’s place. Lei got worried about the things left undone by Mitch while he’s on leave but Mart assured her that everything at his office was taken care of. Her parents also paid them three visits together with Sissy. She thought what a wonderful family and supporting friends they had. She was reminded about how she loved her husband. She thanked God He gave Mitch as her husband, her lifetime companion.
They haven’t noticed that several hours had already passed. All that mattered to them was they were with each other, reminiscing those moments when they first met each other, when they first dated and when they got engaged. They talked about their plans before the baby came and talked about which among those plans they could pursue still, once the surgery was done.
Des arrived just thirty minutes before their supposed session was to be concluded and explained that she purposely did not come to their session earlier because she wanted to give them that time, that opportunity to really talk to each other and appreciate their being together. Then the couple shared what they have talked about, how they saw each other once again. They realized they haven’t had an intimate conversation since they heard the news about Lei’s pregnancy.
“Prayer works, honey. We’ve always prayed. We’ve got our families and friends’ prayers and support, too. Soon, all these will be over. Everything’s going to be alright.” Mitch drew back but stayed close to Lei. He then gave her a smack on her lips and reminded her that they really must go to the hospital and face their doctors, Betty and Rosy, for the laparoscopy scheduled today. She nodded. He opened the door for her, helped her settled on her seat and then walked around to approach his side of the car. Before he slid himself into the driver’s seat, he hurriedly wiped his tears away from his face so Lei wouldn’t see them. Then off they went.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ricky, Thessa, Ana, Christina, Emilio, Mart and Alex. All of them were present on that day. They each gave the couple a hug as they exchanged greetings. Everybody assured them that they were all going to stay for the surgery. Lei shed tears again when her parents embraced her. But she enforced strength and courage to herself, telling everybody that everything’s going to be ok...that she was going to be ok. She thanked them too, and hoped to be able to return all the good favors they have extended to them, in time.
Betty and Rosy appeared from the back, they just got out from Betty’s office where they finished giving instructions to all the nurses in preparation for Lei’s surgery. The two doctors greeted everybody. Rosy gave her cousin Ricky a big bear hug. Lei embraced her doctors like a child who was given a surprise visit by her godparents, only this time, she was not asking for any surprise anymore. The doctors also gave Mitch a hug, an assurance that everything will run along smoothly.
Then, both the doctors signaled that it was time. All four of them, Mitch, Lei, Betty and Rosy went inside towards the operating room. The rest was left outside of the hospital but they all decided to head to the canteen while they wait.
...to be continued.
“I’m feeling guilty, doctor Thompson.”
“No, just call me by my nickname, Des.”
“I’m feeling guilty, Des.”
“You are feeling guilty about what, dear?”
“This is my baby but I am agreeing to its death. That’s what I am feeling guilty about.”
“You think you’re killing your baby?”
“Yes, I think so.”
“Why?”
“Because...because babies are supposed to be allowed to live, you know. They’re angels. They’re supposed to enjoy this world we’re living in and, and...” She didn’t get to finish her statement because she went on sobbing as she hid her face at Mitch’s chest.
“What if you did not consent to the surgery, Lei? Do you think the child will have a chance to live, anyway?”
Silence filled the room. She got tongue-tied. Mitch butted in, “Des, do you think what we are doing is the right thing?”
“You tell me. Why wouldn’t it be?”
“I just feel like we’re bad parents for this baby. What if after the surgery, our consciences will haunt us through eternity? That’ll be terrible.” Mitch caressed Lei’s stomach.
“Mitch, Lei, I want you to think about my question. If you do not agree to the surgery, will everything be alright for everybody, then? Given the fact that the baby was in the fallopian tube instead of in the uterus, and putting into consideration the risks that Lei was supposed to face had she went on with this pregnancy. Think about this, today until tomorrow.”
“Lei? Hon? Dear, come back.” Lei was still looking outside through the window panes, obviously staring blankly at nothing when Mitch saw her. He just got dressed and noticed that Lei wasn’t responding to what he was talking about while he was brushing his hair in front of the mirror.
“Ha?”
“I lost you there. I’m not going to ask if you’re all set or ready, sweetheart. I am neither ready myself, but...are you done here? Can we go now?” Mitch pointed his right index finger towards his wrist watch at his left. Thessa and brought his watch to him late last night along with a few more clothes which should last them through their seven days of stay at Rosy’s condo.
“Oh...let me just put some make up on...then we’ll be all set to go, hon.” She wiped her eyes with her palms as if to erase those thoughts from her mind and stood up to move towards the dresser.
Mitch felt a clutch in his chest as he watched Lei motioned towards the dresser. If only there was a way for him to spare her wife of all those miseries, he would definitely take that option. He too, transported himself to last week’s sessions.
“Mitch, how are you and Lei, lately?” this came from Doctor Thompson, Des as the couple called her.
“We’re always in pain, Des. It’s like we made a choice out of no choice at all. I don’t want to lose our baby but I definitely do not want my wife’s life to be in danger.”
“How are you feeling about the surgery? During our first meeting, I left that question for both of you to answer. Yesterday, you did an activity together which was also connected to that same question. Are we having any progress at this time?”
“Yes. We really couldn’t push through with this pregnancy, doc. It’ll be selfish of us to do that, ironically speaking...unfair to both our baby and my wife.” Lei held onto Mitch’s hands tighter, feeling the pain that her husband was trying to evade. “We’ve understood that if we went on with this pregnancy, we’re just going to prolong the baby’s agony as well as Lei’s, that’ll make us even ruthless being its parents. Betty already advised us that a classical ectopic pregnancy does not develop into a live birth and this pregnancy puts Lei’s life in danger.”
“Lei, is that how you are feeling too?”
“This is very painful for both of us, Des. I don’t want you to think that we wanted to end the baby’s life. We’d like to keep the baby as much as possible. We just want to have a happy and simple family life. God, how we prayed each night to ask for strength, for wisdom...for us to see clearly through this incident and to remain sane as we struggle between our will and emotions. And seeing you, talking to you, have slowly helped us understand the picture of it all. It’s not meant to be...at least for now, perhaps.” Tears started rolling down her face, but she was calm this time, unlike the previous days. “I’m positive, there’s still going to be a next time for us to become parents. I’m sure, God is not turning His face away from us because of this decision.”
“So, you don’t feel guilty anymore, I take it?”
“Yes, we’re ok now. We’ve come into terms of accepting the reality. Lei and I don’t have to feel guilty by this decision.”
“How are you as a couple, lately?”
No answer there. Both Mitch and Lei’s brows formed a ‘vee’ shape as they stared at each other. Then they moved their faces towards her way, shrugging their shoulders. Des realized the couple may be with each other every day at Rosy’s place but neither one has taken the time to really ‘see’ the other person as a lover.
“I understand. Tomorrow, being our last therapy session, I’d like to skip the routine for a change. Discard the list which my secretary gave you during her one-hour briefing with you about our therapy sessions. Tomorrow will be different but great for everybody.”
“I’m ready, dear.”
“Oh, ok. Let’s go then.” Mitch’s thoughts rocketed to the present and released a big, hard sigh. Lei was all set, indeed. She put make up on her face and did her hair. She also released a hard sigh and managed to look composed as she held onto Mitch’s right elbow.
Before they closed the door on their way out, Lei hugged Mitch. She hugged him so tightly and warmly. She hugged him as if she has never done so for the longest time. While in his arms, Lei recalled the last session they had with Des.
“It’s been one hour and Des isn’t here yet. She always comes on time.” Lei was beginning to worry about their doctor. “Do you think she has cancelled this session the last minute?”
“No, I don’t think so. If she did, her secretary should have informed us already.”
“But, why isn’t she here yet? Maybe something wrong happened?” She curiously looked at the wall clock then browsed through Des’ bookshelf.
“Neither that one. Let’s just stay here for awhile and wait for her, ok? Come here, honey. Sit beside me.”
Lei went to where he was sitting as though she was an eight-year-old girl being given an order. She sat beside him. He then slid his arms around her.
“Mitch, what are you doing?”
“Nothing.” He held her head close to his chest.
“Mitch?”
“Ssshhh. I just want to feel you here with me, sweetheart. I missed you.”
She felt so much comfort being in Mitch’s arms. Being with him at that very moment was the very thing she needed. He was with her since the start. He never left her side. His love never wavered even with this recent gruesome incident in their family life. She realized he had been constantly generous and giving to her throughout this whole ordeal. He took a month-leave from work just to be able to take care of her every day. Mart and Alex visited them often there at Rosy’s place. Lei got worried about the things left undone by Mitch while he’s on leave but Mart assured her that everything at his office was taken care of. Her parents also paid them three visits together with Sissy. She thought what a wonderful family and supporting friends they had. She was reminded about how she loved her husband. She thanked God He gave Mitch as her husband, her lifetime companion.
They haven’t noticed that several hours had already passed. All that mattered to them was they were with each other, reminiscing those moments when they first met each other, when they first dated and when they got engaged. They talked about their plans before the baby came and talked about which among those plans they could pursue still, once the surgery was done.
Des arrived just thirty minutes before their supposed session was to be concluded and explained that she purposely did not come to their session earlier because she wanted to give them that time, that opportunity to really talk to each other and appreciate their being together. Then the couple shared what they have talked about, how they saw each other once again. They realized they haven’t had an intimate conversation since they heard the news about Lei’s pregnancy.
“Prayer works, honey. We’ve always prayed. We’ve got our families and friends’ prayers and support, too. Soon, all these will be over. Everything’s going to be alright.” Mitch drew back but stayed close to Lei. He then gave her a smack on her lips and reminded her that they really must go to the hospital and face their doctors, Betty and Rosy, for the laparoscopy scheduled today. She nodded. He opened the door for her, helped her settled on her seat and then walked around to approach his side of the car. Before he slid himself into the driver’s seat, he hurriedly wiped his tears away from his face so Lei wouldn’t see them. Then off they went.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ricky, Thessa, Ana, Christina, Emilio, Mart and Alex. All of them were present on that day. They each gave the couple a hug as they exchanged greetings. Everybody assured them that they were all going to stay for the surgery. Lei shed tears again when her parents embraced her. But she enforced strength and courage to herself, telling everybody that everything’s going to be ok...that she was going to be ok. She thanked them too, and hoped to be able to return all the good favors they have extended to them, in time.
Betty and Rosy appeared from the back, they just got out from Betty’s office where they finished giving instructions to all the nurses in preparation for Lei’s surgery. The two doctors greeted everybody. Rosy gave her cousin Ricky a big bear hug. Lei embraced her doctors like a child who was given a surprise visit by her godparents, only this time, she was not asking for any surprise anymore. The doctors also gave Mitch a hug, an assurance that everything will run along smoothly.
Then, both the doctors signaled that it was time. All four of them, Mitch, Lei, Betty and Rosy went inside towards the operating room. The rest was left outside of the hospital but they all decided to head to the canteen while they wait.
...to be continued.
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